


Mama Bear

by jay_girl88



Series: Mother Material [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers Family, BAMF Steve Rogers, BAMF Tony Stark, Canon-Typical Violence, Don't copy to another site, F/M, Female Tony Stark, Kidnapping, Protective Avengers, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Tony Stark, Superfamily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 18:54:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20644025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jay_girl88/pseuds/jay_girl88
Summary: "Toni had heard – and read, several times too many to a sleepy Peter – the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, but she had never quite managed to relate to the Mama Bear, so she had no idea why so many people compared her to a mama bear.No idea at all."~*~*~*~When her worst fears are realized, Toni doesn't react in the way that she might have been expected to.Oh no.She gets a lot closer to feral, than she does to fearful.





	Mama Bear

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FrozenFlame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrozenFlame/gifts).

> Gift fic! I worked overtime to get this out at the same time as Mother Nature's epilogue/timestamp, and it was totally worth it because I enjoyed the angst! 
> 
> This fic is based on a prompt from FrozenFlame, who I promised a fic because of the awesome comment she left me after I was drowning in Endgame feels XD
> 
> Hope it's worth the wait, lovely, and that you enjoy it!

Toni had heard – and read, several times too many to a sleepy Peter – the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, but she had never quite managed to relate to the Mama Bear. 

For one, Toni couldn’t really remember the last time she’d had porridge. Probably back before boarding school, even, and not without reason as she wasn’t particularly fond of it. She usually had cereal or toast, and that was only if Steve was paying particular attention enough to admonish her eating habits. If he wasn’t? Blueberries and coffee generally served as an all-day sort of meal. 

For another, chairs and their varying comforts rarely meant anything to her. She sat everywhere; even atop the refrigerator, one memorable morning; a consequence of her distraction when her mind was on some scientific genius or highly experimental ideas. She’d even sat inside a giant donut! Obviously there was no consideration given to comfort, when Toni chose to sit amidst her pacing and plotting.

There was no need to even get started on the bed thing, on account of the fact that sleep was a relative term to the genius. 

So, no. She’d never related to the Mama Bear in that story, so she had no idea why people so often compared her to a Mama Bear. 

No idea at all. 

###

“Fabrication status of the Mach-12 Iron Woman armour is at 94% and rising. Systems indicate no unwarranted materials’ strain and my servers detect no glitches amidst the wiring or coding of the new features. Fabrication completion estimated at 23 minutes.”

Toni grinned, rocking her chair until it was balanced on the back two legs and propping her feet on the desk. “Oh, J, I love it when you talk dirty to me.”

“Ah, what could have been, Madam,” JARVIS deadpanned back, making Toni laugh in delight at the snark that her brilliant AI had somehow developed. Some – or, more accurately, most – of the Avengers had laid blame for that on her shoulders. “Alas, you chose Captain Rogers.”

The genius winked and threw a kiss towards the nearest camera. “Hey, you’ll always be my first love, J,” she teased, the warmth of success making her light and happy. It had been something of a trial, this latest version of her greatest creation, and Toni had grappled with the coding and designs for close to a week until it had all come together in the early hours of this morning. In the time that she’d taken to go through her morning ritual with Peter and drop him off at school, the fabrication process had continued under the watchful supervision of her AI, and now she only had 23 minutes left to wait until she could start running tests on it. 

It honestly couldn’t have been done sooner. The delays on her suit had caused her to be benched for the recon mission that the team was currently in the middle of, and though she might have stayed behind anyway, in order to be home for Peter, it still got under her skin that it had taken her this long. The Mach-11 would’ve been sufficient for any attacks on the city, but Toni was personally offended at the thought of being on the field with outdated gear. She’d always taken personal pride in making sure that everything the Avengers used was the top of the line in their respective categories, and it would have been positively abhorrent to lower that standard with her own armour. 

Not to mention, she’d had a sick feeling in her gut since yesterday, when the team had departed for the mission, and it was a small comfort to know that she could get to them even a fraction faster with the new armour. 

Toni had tried to tell herself that it was simply her overprotective instincts; though rarely shown, they were keenly felt, and it was usually enough for her to be there but this time, she was holding down the fort at the tower and the rest of the team was on the field. It was only natural for her to feel anxious until she knew that they were safe again… but she couldn’t shake the feeling that this was something _more. _

Trusting her gut had saved her life, and the lives of her family, more than once. It felt wrong to dismiss it now, but she’d had little else in the way of choices. 

The genius was drawn from her thoughts by the familiar chime of her Starkphone. Without needing to be asked, JARVIS connected to the software of her phone, and in the next second, the screen of one of her monitors was filled with a picture of the love of her life.

She tapped to answer and had to wait a few seconds for her AI to scramble the signal, before she was treated to the sight of Steve’s smiling face. “Hey, hot stuff.”

“Morning, beautiful,” Steve replied warmly. Obviously, she’d been worried about nothing, as everything seemed to be going okay. “You know, I have no idea how you balance on your chair like that.”

His words had the desired effect, and Toni laughed as she touched the front legs back to the ground, swinging her feet off the table. “I’m a woman of many talents. How goes the recon?”

“Seems like a bust. You might’ve been right,” he admitted, conceding defeat to the argument they’d had just before the team had left, in which Toni had insisted that the Intel they’d received was faulty, and also too vague and directionless to amount to anything. “There’s been no evidence to suggest that anyone’s used this place for at least a decade, least of all a secret HYDRA base.”

A better person might have accepted that with grace, but Toni had never claimed to be particularly saintly. “I could’ve told you that. And did,” she reminded him, smirking when his only response was to roll his eyes. “Next time, will you trust me when I tell you that I can trace the time and output of any energy usage?”

“Of course, my darling,” Steve answered dutifully, sarcasm thick in his voice. It might’ve offended her if there wasn’t also affection dancing in his eyes. “Everything alright over there?” He paused, studying her, and something like worry made his forehead crease. “You haven’t slept since we left.”

Toni saw no point in denying it; not when she knew Steve would know better. “This whole mission feels wrong, Stevie,” she said instead, raking a hand through her hair. It wasn’t the first time she’d said so, but not even her lover could convince her that she was overthinking things. “Even more so now that we know it’s a bust. Just… swear to me that you’re being careful. You and the rest of the team. I’d love to swoop in for the rescue, but you know how nervous Happy gets when he has to babysit.” 

“We’re being careful,” he promised lowly, ignoring her attempt at humour. She couldn’t blame him for it. “_I’m _being careful. I mean, I have to be; my partner isn’t here to save my ass.”

“And what a fantastic ass, it is.”

Steve chuckled, eyes warming again and chasing away most of the concern. “I know your instincts are buzzing on this one, sweetheart. And I’m listening. I am.”

Toni knew that without needing to be told. No matter whether they had something as small as a difference of opinion, or as big as a blowout fight, Steve never dismissed her thoughts and feelings, and it helped to know that he was being on guard while he was out there. It didn’t take away that horrible feeling, but it helped. 

“Thank you,” she replied simply, a rare moment of unguarded gratitude making her relax muscles that she hadn’t realized she’d tensed. “I just wish we had something to go on. HYDRA’s been quiet for a while and that doesn’t inspire much confidence, but if this is an ambush, then it’s a really sloppy one. You guys are prepared for something like that, even with the unfortunate last-minute roster change of me being benched.”

“And HYDRA is a lot of things, but sloppy isn’t one of them,” Steve concluded, nodding to show that he saw where her line of thought was going. He rubbed a finger over his jaw, a surefire sign that his mind was at work. “We haven’t seen any traps of any kind; haven’t seen any sign of human habitation either, come to it.”

As elusive as her own misgivings had been in her mind, a thought suddenly struck Toni with all the force of a nuclear missile; and she would know. All at once, she wondered why it had taken her this long to realize what should have been devastatingly clear from the start. 

“Toni?”

The sharp call of her name made the genius realize that she had paled spectacularly, her expression frozen in equal parts foreboding and dazed shock. Darting her eyes back to Steve, she saw that the Captain was in full-battle mode, not knowing why but recognizing that Toni did. 

She licked her dry lips and hoped against hope that Steve would respond to her epiphany with amusement. “There’s no reason to send all the Avengers away to meet their own ambush,” she pointed out quietly. As she spoke the words, they only made more sense. “The only reason they’d send everyone there, is if the ambush was happening _here._”

Toni felt her stomach sink as comprehension brought horror dawning on Steve’s face. Perhaps it would have been too much to hope for, that he would poke a hole in her theory. Instead, she sat in front of the screen as Steve barked out orders to the rest of the team over his shoulder, grimly mute. 

“We’re gonna head back right now,” he reported tersely, turning back to face her with blazing blue eyes. There was some self-recrimination amidst the anger, but now wasn’t the time for her to address that. “If anything happens, you’ll have the element of surprise, since they’ll probably expect you to be with us. Use it, but don’t try to take them on by yourself. Just… wait for me.” Abruptly, the fearless leader was gone, replaced with the urgent lover. “Okay? Please, Toni, promise that you won’t make a move on them until I get there. Can you do that for me?” 

It hadn’t been very long since the last scare she’d had; since an earthquake in Argentina had conspired to take her away from her family; but 8 months could have been 8 minutes for how fresh she knew it still was in Steve’s heart. They were still arguing during fights because the Captain kept trying to protect her mid-battle, and Toni knew without asking that her lover would be going out of his mind with worry until he was back home. 

Clearing her throat, she nodded. “I can do that,” she confirmed, heart aching at how instantaneous and powerful the relief was, that crossed Steve’s face. “I promise. I’ll be okay.”

They cut the call, neither of them needing a goodbye to distract them. Toni felt her stomach twist as she looked at her own reflection in the blank screen; why did she still feel like something was missing? Why did she still feel like she wasn’t seeing the whole picture? 

Toni had loved to play chess, a long time ago. It was, perhaps, the single, solitary thing that she’d enjoyed about the boarding school she’d been shipped off to. At first, she’d joined the team in the hopes that her parents would visit more often to see her matches, but after time, she grew to savour the depth of brilliance it fostered; the challenges it presented to her overactive mind. 

A rather eccentric coach had considered her the crowning jewel of his team; had gone to great lengths to polish her game until Toni was competing among some of the highest ranked players in the world. The best advice he’d ever given her, and the most memorable, had been the day he’d offered to play a game with her. He’d stopped her from pushing an attack with her bishop, halfway through the game, and told her: _Don’t move until you see it, Antonietta._

She’d been confused, at first, not knowing what she’d been meant to see. But as she always had, she’d listened, eager to please and hoping with all the desperation of an innocent mind that she might gain some measure of approval and respect if she could just do what he was asking of her. 

So she’d looked. Until her eyes had strained with exhaustion and the checkered board had flashed behind her eyelids, she’d looked. 

And seen, after several hours and a battle against tears, the opening she’d have given the man to attack her king. The weak spot. The game would’ve been over in six moves, possibly less. 

_Don’t move until you see it, Antonietta. _

She heard his sharp, demanding voice in her head now. What was she missing? What was she being so quick to overlook, that her gut was screaming at her to _see?_

_I was supposed to be with them._

Toni frowned pensively, standing abruptly from her chair and pacing the length of her workshop. Wisely, JARVIS didn’t comment, and even DUM-E and the rest of her bots were exercising caution by giving her a wide berth. 

Chances were good that whoever this was hadn’t gotten the memo about Toni staying behind. It wasn’t a regular thing for her to sit-out of field missions, not when she was one of only two that provided aerial support to the team. More to the point, if they’d been banking on her absence, the attack couldn’t be directed at her or the tower. There’d be no point, as they wouldn’t be able to gain access to her lab, and nobody else was home. It was just her, and…

No. 

No. 

No.

She didn’t realize that was speaking out loud until JARVIS interrupted her with a tentative call of her name. “Shall I contact Captain Rogers?” the AI asked worriedly when Toni failed to respond to him. At any time, the genius might have spared a moment to fondly compliment the AI, but right then, even breathing seemed like a monumental task. 

No. This couldn’t be happening, she was wrong. She had to be wrong. Nobody would be stupid enough – goddamn _suicidal_ enough – to make a move on her son. To do so, would be to court pain and suffering and ultimate death, and Toni had to believe that she’d made that abundantly clear to the world. 

But there was no denying the tug of her gut that told her she’d hit the nail on the head. 

Her phone chimed again. A call from Peter’s school. 

And Toni was lost.

###

_I should’ve listened to her._

The thought played on repeat in Steve’s mind; like a broken soundtrack that was interspersed with frequent images in front of his eyes, of Toni hurt and in pain. 

There were way too many memories of that to draw from. 

“We’re not too far out,” Bucky reported, and Steve had to wonder how long his best friend had been standing there next to him. “Two hours, give or take. Those assholes musta underestimated how much power Toni puts in the engines of her toys.”

It was a weak attempt at comfort, but Steve could acknowledge the effort behind it. 

Toni was okay. She was safe, for the moment, and she would stay that way. If HYDRA attacked, there were plenty of ways for her to deflect without confronting them, until backup arrived. She was smart and resourceful and armed with no shortage of ways to wreak havoc.

Steve glanced towards the helm of the Quinjet when he heard Natasha’s voice. “You should call her. Give her an update.”

It was obvious to him, and likely everyone else aboard, that the redhead’s intention was merely for him to hear Toni’s voice. It was usually enough to calm him and Steve knew that he was dangerously close to punching something, purely on principle. He nodded once, recognizing the wisdom of the suggestion, but before he could make a move to engage his Starkphone, a voice came over the Quinjet speakers.

**“Steve.”**

Toni’s voice was raw and ragged, as if she’d run a mile and a half with a knife stuck in her side, and fear swarmed Steve’s senses. “Toni?” he demanded, jerking forward and stopping short as if he’d just realized the motion wouldn’t take him where he needed to be. With his girlfriend. “What happened, baby, what’s wrong?”

Dimly, he registered Bruce slipping earphones on; he didn’t begrudge the man the motion, and could admit that it was probably for the better, lest they have a Code Green in mid-air. For their parts, the rest of the Avengers gathered closer, instinctively on guard despite the fact that the threat was nowhere near them. 

**“I… it wasn’t for me,”** Toni rasped, and the fact that she wasn’t snarky something witty; the fact that her voice was dull and anguished instead of light and careless; told Steve that something had gone wrong. Terribly wrong. 

Straining to keep his voice level, Steve forced himself to ask, “What wasn’t for you, doll?” And then, because she sounded like she damn well needed it, he added gently, “It’s okay, sweetheart, tell me. We can fix it.”

There was a pause, long and heavy, and the supersoldier was slammed with the ominous feeling that a decision was being made as he stood there. A decision that he couldn’t influence, that he had no say in, and yet one that he knew was going to have an effect on his love. 

**“Fix it,”** she repeated in an absent murmur, scaring Steve with how different she suddenly sounded. **“Yeah. I’m doing that. Two minutes left of fabrication.” **

Biting back a curse, Steve gripped his shield; nothing else could withstand the force of his crushing grip. “Toni, baby, you need to tell me what’s going on so I can help. Let me help you,” he snapped, hoping that the harsh tone would be enough to bring her back from whatever place she’d fallen into. 

It worked; to an extent. Toni’s voice came over clear once more, but there was a flat darkness to it that made Steve’s heart lurch in his chest. It didn’t sound like her; it wasn’t her. Not _his_ Toni, at least. 

**“The new armour is almost ready. I’m going after them. You’re gonna wanna call SHIELD, because it’s not going to be pretty.”**

Fear turned to fury, because it was so much easier for Steve to handle. “You promised me you wouldn’t, Stark,” he barked, the voice of the Captain taking the place of the lover. “But if that doesn’t mean a goddamn thing to you, then…”

**“I just got off the phone with Principal Gibbons,” **Toni interrupted him icily, and a whole new wave of horror washed over him when he recognized the name of the headmistress of Peter’s school. Toni couldn’t be implying… no, not… **“The ambush wasn’t on me. It was on him.”**

Steve lost his feet, sinking to his seat as the blood drained from his face. Peter… he was just a baby. He’d only started school a few months ago, and it had taken close to two weeks before he’d stopped crying when they’d dropped him off. 

For every one of those mornings, he’d promised Toni that Peter would be happy and safe. He’d told the little boy that school would be an adventure that he’d love, once he gave it a proper try. He’d made the reassurances and done the comforting, and he’d been wrong, because his son was… was…

**“It’s not HYDRA,”** Toni informed them curtly, sounding more like a soldier than the woman he loved with all his heart. **“Traffic cam footage is blurry, but I have reason to believe its AIM. If they contact me like I think they might, I’m sure they’ll be amenable to a straight trade, but I’m not going to wait for that.”**

Her entire succinct report made Steve feel sick. It was glaringly obvious that there was no way around this impossible situation, that didn’t include some part of his world being in danger. Helplessness turned to anger, that started to crackle deep inside him, burning away the nausea. “What are you going to do?”

Her silence said it all. 

Steve wasn’t sure how Toni was planning on tracking AIM down, but he had no doubt in his mind that she had a way. If she didn’t, then she’d find one, but the end result would be the same because there was no way in hell that Toni would sit around doing nothing while Peter was in danger. She loved that little boy with everything that she had… and it made Steve grim when he realized that she hadn’t said his name at all, yet. 

It didn’t bode well for her current state of mind. 

“We’re less than two hours away.” It was Bucky who offered the update, voice hollow and calm, but Steve could see the way he was battling for control. His best friend usually refrained from giving the reins to the Winter Soldier programming in him, but Steve got the impression that this time, Bucky was only doing it until he could take a chunk out of AIM himself. 

**“I’m not waiting.”**

Steve knew, all at once and with crystal clear clarity, that he couldn’t stop Toni from going after them. It would be entirely the wrong move, not only because he would be standing in the way of her and their son, in Toni’s eyes, but also because he’d be doing the one thing he always promised himself he would never do to her. 

Make her choose. 

Choose between listening and not? Choose between who she was and who she would never be? It didn’t matter. It was still a choice, either way, and Steve had sworn, the very first time she’d smiled at him, that he would never be the reason that Toni changed any part of herself unwillingly. 

So instead of begging her to wait for him, instead of pleading with her to stay safe until he could get there and keep both her and Peter from harm, Steve swallowed his fear and rage and asked, “How will I know where to come when I get there? How will I know where you are?”

Her answer was short and cold enough to chill Steve right to his core, spoken to the background noise of her repulsors flaring and her suit’s artillery shifting beneath its panels. 

**“Easy. Just follow the trail of bodies.”**

###

They’d called her, at a time, the merchant of death. 

As she surveyed her surroundings, smoke still dissipating in the air that reeked of firepower, she had to wonder whether they’d ever realized just how dangerous she could be. 

After all, one couldn’t sell death without first courting it. 

The armour shifted restlessly around her, panels sliding back into place with smooth motions that she might have been proud of, if she’d had any inclination to critique her work. As it were, Toni had a single purpose in mind, and there would be no distraction from it. She didn’t dare to think of his name, or even allow herself a moment to picture him, because it could only bring her fear. 

Fear made her weak. It made her powerless and defenseless, and she wasn’t going to be any of the above. Not while he needed her. 

She passed the bodies on the floor with barely more than a cursory glance. Remorse might have taken root for any other person, in any other situation, but not for them. They only had themselves to blame for partaking; for being brainless enough to even look in the direction of one so precious to her heart. 

They’d signed their own fates with it.

Her repulsors took care of the door to the pathetic excuse for a bunker; JARVIS had already located the only one that she was concerned about protecting, and she was secure in the knowledge that he was ensconced safely in a room on the lowermost level of the supposedly secured place. His captors – the ones that would die the slowest – were cowering in a room of steel, barred and barricaded as if any of it would stop her. 

Fucking amateurs. 

In the distance, Toni heard the sound of the Quinjet. Something akin to disappointment curled on her tongue, knowing that she would have to share her retribution, but it was her own fault for taking as long as she had to launch her attack. In her defense, she’d maintained the presence of mind enough to wait until they’d taken their captive to a place where he wouldn’t be subjected to what she was about to do. 

He didn’t need those nightmares on top of the ones he was already going to have. 

Because time was running short, she made quick work of the barricaded door, rather than drawing it out and indulging in a little psychological torture. Bullets sprayed across the expanse of the room, drilling into the armour as if they were peanuts being thrown at a tin can, and Toni waited for the assault to end with the patience of one who knew exactly how the world was going to end. 

Terror made them pale and a little green, and Toni watched in detached amusement as one of the three dropped to his knees in supplication. As if that would save him now. 

Her faceplate drew up with a dull clang and Toni spared a moment to wonder what they saw when they looked at her. Whatever it was, it was enough to make one of them dissolve into pleas, and another, the one on his knees, start shaking like a leaf. 

But her eyes were pinned only on the one who’d yet to move. The one who, she’d seen in the traffic cam footage, had been the one to backhand and throw a sobbing little boy who made up one of the biggest parts of her whole world, into the back of a car. 

“No praying for you?” she asked curiously, conversationally. “No pleading?”

He swallowed, going even whiter if that was possible. His knees trembled where he stood, she observed, and he looked like he was about to start having heart palpitations. It intrigued her – what had they expected, when they’d made their move? To have her in helpless hysterics? To hold some sort of power over her? – and it also deeply satisfied her. For every nanosecond of pain and fear they’d caused in him, this was nothing less than what they deserved. 

“Please,” he forced through chattering teeth. “Have mercy.”

She tutted in mocking disappointment, shaking her head. “I might’ve… but that ship sailed the second you laid a finger on him.”

###

It had been JARVIS who’d gotten them there, but there was still a definite trail of bodies for them to follow into the bunker. 

Bruce made his apologies almost immediately; and judging from the scene in front of them, it was for the best. The Hulk wasn’t needed after this level of brutal destruction, and it was a safer bet to have the scientist remain in the jet until such time that they might have needed him. Somewhere to his left, Clint muttered an oath, but any horror or disgust over the sight in front of them was noticeably absent from every Avenger. If Steve was a betting man, he’d have put money on the fact that they were all wishing they could’ve had a hand in it; could’ve doled out some of their own revenge on the ones who’d made a move against one of theirs. Their most innocent and defenseless, no less. 

Although, judging from the shrill cry that pierced the still air around them, it might not have been too late after all. 

They moved as a unit, following the sounds of screaming and begging. Before they could enter the room it was originating from, the doorway was filled with red and gold; Toni. 

“Gentlemen,” she greeted them cordially; devoid of emotion even as whimpers and sobs echoed out of the room from behind her. “Nat,” she added considerately, but Steve knew her voice; knew that face and her tone and those eyes, and knew that she was far from okay. “I’m not quite done, here.”

There was enough fury still blazing through his body to make Steve want to cheer her on; but damned if he didn’t know his love better than she knew herself. What she needed, now, wasn’t more anger. Wasn’t more pain or more revenge or more bloodshed or death. 

She needed to step back into the light. She needed to remember herself. To find Peter. 

Telegraphing his motions carefully, Steve took her shoulders in gentle hands. “Yes, you are, darling,” he told her softly, braced for the flash of wild temper in whiskey coloured eyes and waylaying it with a press of his lips to her forehead. “You have to find Peter. You need to get him. Let me handle this while you find our son.” It seemed like a lot, asking her to trust him one more time, but Toni didn’t seem to think so. Her eyes lost some of its distance; her countenance, some of its ice. 

“Peter,” she nodded, taking a steadying breath. Toni dropped her head against his shoulder for half a second. “He’s downstairs. I’ve got him. I’ll get him.”

Steve kissed her temple, swallowing the dizzying relief for a time when he could appreciate it more. After he’d taken his turn at the men who’d targeted his son. 

Toni moved swiftly past them, but paused to throw a measured request over her shoulder, voice cold and hard. “Keep one of them alive. Someone needs to spread the word about what to expect if anyone touches my son again.”

###

“Mommy!”

It was amazing how one little word had the power to melt all the ice from her heart. 

Toni scooped Peter up into her arms as he barreled into her, relieved that she’d had the foresight to step out of the armour and send it back to the tower before she’d entered the room. The amount of blood splattered over it couldn’t have been hidden, despite the fact that red was its base colour. 

She held the little boy close to her, pressing kisses to his face that tasted salty when it mixed in with his tears. “Oh, my baby, _il mio bambino,_ I’m so sorry I took so long. I love you so much, sweet pea, I’m so sorry…”

Apologies were pretty much the only thing falling from her lips, interspersed ever so often with an endearment or a reminder of how much she loved him. Now that he was safe; now that she had nothing to lose herself in except her own perceived failures and shortcomings; Toni couldn’t quite believe that she’d gotten her wonderful, beautiful, amazing little boy into this mess. This was all her fault; she’d been an idiot to bring Peter into this world, into this life where she was so constantly under attack. What right did she had to put him through this? What had she been thinking? 

“Mommy, don’t go,” Peter hiccupped, and if not for the lump in her throat, Toni might have worried that she’d spoken out loud. Little arms wrapped around her neck with a strength that was at odds with Peter’s tiny frame. “I knew you were gonna come get me. Please don’t go.”

She shushed him gently; rocked him until he calmed down to a miserable sniffle. “I’ve got you, sweet pea, I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere,” she promised. “Can you do something for me, brave boy?”

Peter nodded against her and Toni hated to do this, but she knew it was necessary. The longer the little boy was here, the more fearful he would be. This whole ordeal needed to be over for him, and it wouldn’t be for as long as he was inside this room. 

“I need you to duck your head and block your ears, honey. Can you do that?” she asked, gently coaxing Peter’s face against her neck. It was the only way that she could be sure he wouldn’t see any of the devastation she’d left in her wake, or hear the sounds of the Avengers doing their jobs. Both had the potential to be equally traumatizing for the little boy. 

Peter complied without a word of protest, snuggling even closer into her. Toni kept a hand over his head and maintained a constant slew of softly murmured assurances and comforts as she made quick work of getting out of the bunker and into the waiting Quinjet. She relaxed finally with the familiar surroundings, but even then, Peter didn’t lift his head or let her go. 

It would be a little while, she conceded. For both of them. All of them. 

Bruce appeared in her line of sight, wordlessly tapping a shock blanket before laying it out on one of the beds in the medical area. He knew better than to try and make his presence known; not while Peter was still so on edge and Toni was not much calmer. 

The genius nodded in thanks and wrapped the blanket around her precious little limpet. She sat with him in her lap and at some point, began to sing until Peter fell asleep; she wasn’t sure for how long she kept it up, but she did know that the Avengers had returned while she was still singing. Steve had taken a seat beside her, a quiet and steady presence, and it was only when they were both sure he was asleep, that he deigned to speak. 

“Do you blame me?”

It was more or less the last words she’d expected to hear from him, misery and helplessness drenching his whisper, and Toni thought her shock was quite evident in the owlish blinking of her eyes and the slackness of her jaw. 

“Of course not, Steve, how could you even ask me that?” she whispered back, freeing one of her hands to take his. Honestly, she’d been a little apprehensive that Steve would blame her; or at the very least, turn away from the darkness that he now knew she was capable of. Her own fears were assuaged as he gripped her hand right back. 

“I left,” Steve summarized wretchedly, the full extent of his own guilt weighted in those two little words.

Toni felt her heart break a little; and absently, felt relief in knowing that she _could _still feel that. “How could you have known?” she asked reasonably; or, her closest attempt at it. She still felt somewhat like she’d been scraped raw from the inside out, and was trying to clumsily find her feet with reality again. 

“_You _knew,” the supersoldier pointed out. “I should’ve listened to you, I should’ve…”

“By that logic,” she interrupted him, “I’m to blame. I should’ve listened to my own instincts.” On a low sigh, she tugged his hand until he wrapped his arms around her and Peter. Burrowing into his chest, with his arms tightly banded around them, Toni felt like she could breathe for the first time since that terrible phone call. “We have to help him, Steve. We have to be there for him, and we can’t do that if we’re playing the blame game. This was not your fault. I swear.”

It wasn’t as simple as that, and Toni got the feeling that all three of them would need some help in the coming weeks, but it was all she could do right then. And she thought it might have been enough, when Steve nodded once in acceptance and tucked her into his chest so that both her and Peter were safe in his embrace. 

###

Drawing the covers over her sleeping son, Toni leaned down to press a kiss to his cheek. Peter barely stirred – a welcome change from the nightmares and sporadic sleep patterns of the last two weeks – and Toni latched on to the tentative hope that the worst of the trauma was over. 

“He went down alright?” Steve asked in a low rumble from Peter’s doorway. He was laden with an armful of new plush toys; this time, the rest of the Avengers to go with the Iron Woman and Captain America that the little boy was currently snuggled up with. 

Toni’s lips lifted in amusement at the sight. “Yeah, he was exhausted. Nodded off before I finished the first two verses of the lullaby.” Because she knew Peter would love it, and that Steve would love it just as much, she took the plushies and laid them with the sleeping child. She would deny it to the ends of the earth, but a part of her was still deeply touched by the fact that Peter felt safer when he clutched on to her and Steve’s stuffed toys. 

“What about you?” Steve reached out for her as soon as she was in reach; tucked her close against his body. “Coming to bed tonight, or are we going back to the workshop?”

She loved that he included himself in that plan; loved that Steve loved her enough to put up with her own coping methods, showing nothing but patience and tenderness. 

Taking a calming breath of her own, Toni rested her head against his chest. “Bed,” she decided finally, knowing she’d made the right choice when Steve’s arms tightened around her. After all, she could finish the prototype of Peter’s suit (designed solely to protect, and activated by her or Steve’s command only) in the morning. “Let’s go to bed. In a minute.” 

Toni shifted just so much until she could watch over her sleeping son. A maelstrom of emotions all battled for dominance inside her. Absently, a thought waylaid her simmering emotions, and as she pondered it, and applied it to a more realistic reasoning approach…

Well, a mother bear protected her cubs with her life. She fought to death, and then a little further, and showed no mercy when a threat was presented to her baby. She would never let harm come to her cubs as long as she was around. 

Perhaps Toni understood the Mama Bear comparison, now. 

And she didn’t mind it in the least. 

###

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed it! More in this 'verse is upcoming, so watch this space if you did! 
> 
> Cheers,   
J <3


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